Pleasure Notes

January has come to an end; it flew by in such a flash. I felt the same loss of time last year. Some would say I’m just getting older, but I defy those people. Besides, as my friend Egan will attest, I’m only 23. No. This time-warp phenomenon is simply due to a lack of focus. My mind is always going a mile a minute, usually in the direction of doomsday scenarios or sex or why people insist upon SuperPoking me on Facebook despite my abhorrence for the practice. There’s just not enough brain space in which to remember things, particularly the truly pleasurable things in life. Ask me about a natural disaster or my last break-up, and I can recount everything to the minutest detail. But otherwise, I will emphatically claim that nothing has happened and I’ve done nothing of interest. When I wrote 2008: Most Pleasurables last month, I finally embraced the idea, in a public forum, that my perception of the past is truly flawed. And hey, that’s a super cool relief! So I’ve decided to institute Most Pleasurables lists on a monthly basis. Because no matter how crazy the world gets out there, the pursuit of pleasure is why I’m here.

1. The inauguration of Barack Obama. Duh. That may be the highlight of the century, certainly the decade. I think you all know how I feel about it.
2. A new haircut. I freely acknowledge that I’m a high-maintenance gal, except when it comes to my hair. It’s the one place I actually might benefit from being a little more high-maintenance. I simply can’t be bothered. Which is why I go to the Vidal Sassoon Academy for a 21 dollar cut rather than shelling out the hundred bucks like I used to do. A trip to the Academy, while being a smart fiscal choice, can be traumatic. These are students, after all, with very sharp scissors. But this time, I walked in resembling a damp, mildewed, cloth mop and left looking… well… like a dry, clean, cloth mop, with layers.
3. Warm weather. Yep, I’m going to gloat a bit about living in Los Angeles. We do not get ice storms. We do not have to throw out our backs while shoveling snow. We wear scarves, hats, and gloves as accessories, not as life preservers. This January, the coldest overnight temperature was 41 degrees, for a few hours, one night. We had highs in the 80s almost half the month. It was 88 degrees on January 12^th. Now I’m sure this is all due to global warming, and it’s causing catastrophic environmental damage or something, but damn it gives me pleasure. And a wee bit of a tan.
4. Mom’s visit. As you get to know me more, you’ll realize how utterly remarkable it is for me to include this in a Most Pleasurables list. Like that of many mothers and daughters, my relationship with my mom is complicated and there have been many moments of high drama. This was the first visit in a very, very, very long time during which there was not a single argument. To top that, I had a fucking ball; I had a girls’ weekend in L.A. with my mom (and her best friend). To my chagrin, it is the first time I was able to fully see my mom removed from her “mother” persona, and I really liked her. I feel like a huge shift in our relationship just happened, one I didn’t even know was possible. I’m grateful, optimistic, and looking forward to the next time I see her.
5. A job. Not a small thing, people. The U.S. Chamber of Commerce claims that 2.6 million jobs were lost in 2008. Forbes Magazine estimates 162,962 jobs, in just the top 500 American companies, disappeared in January. How could the fact that I have a job not bring me profound pleasure at this moment in time?
6. Strengthening friendships. I am lucky. I have a lot of friends. I have a lot of comrades too. Now, I don’t mean that in a red-shirt kind of way. I’m talking about phenomenally awesome folks who are programmed into my blackberry but who I see only irregularly and usually in a group setting. These are the men and women with whom I’m constantly making vague plans, wanting to reach that next level of friendship, the one where, no matter what kind of mood I’m in or they are in when the phone rings, I answer the call. This month, for whatever reason, those vague plans transformed into activities and my friendships, new and old, are flourishing.
7. Not having to bury my cat. I’m still a little shocked that I’ve transmuted into a cat person, but this month proved the metamorphosis is complete. My cat caught some ghastly bacterium that is chowing down on her liver. Many cats die from the infection. Bella, thankfully, has not. She’s still on antibiotics and not completely out of the woods quite yet, but the vet is hopeful. So rather than having to put her to sleep (the cat, not the vet), I still get to spoil her rotten which, you may have guessed, is entirely pleasurable.

So that’s my January. How was yours?

Most of the country is suffering through a record-breaking, bloody-cold winter. Even those of us lucky enough to live in a more amenable climate like Los Angeles have found ourselves shivering from time to time this year. But, this being tinsel town, we won’t abandon fashion for warmth. Luckily, I have discovered the perfect way to both stay warm and dazzle the masses. This Pleasure Find is for the ladies, wherever they may be, and the gents who love them…

Lady Godiva by bebaroque

Bebaroque stockings, tights, and leggings are designed and crafted by two fabulously hip Scottish women.

Miss Godiva by bebaroque

Anyone who has been to Edinburgh in January can attest to the fact that Scottish women know cold weather, and how to slog through it stylishly, so you are in good hands with Mhairi McNicol and Chloe Patience. Besides, they won the Scottish Accessory Designer of the Year award and that’s no mean feat.

Tattoo Me by bebaroque

Hand embroidery, beading, Swarovski crystals, and original print designs embellish these little gems. Whether you want to simply flash a well-shaped calf or go for a fully tattooed gam, bebaroque legwear styles add a dash of sensuous, playful pleasure to the mix.

Lady Godiva by bebaroque

Just a wee warning as you fall in love with these creations: they are not like your mama’s 4-dollar Leggs, but more like those pre-war silk stockings women used to covet more than chocolate. That is to say, they are a luxury item. But you can’t put a price on fashion, right?

If you were drained of all political fervor in 2008, and you are currently living under a rock, you may not know of Rod Blagojevich. Since most of you do, however, I won’t bother providing his bio here. You may wonder, in fact, why the hell I would even utter his name given his ubiquitous presence on so many other platforms. I only mention him because he is further proof that I am surrounded by liars. And I kind of like it.

Let me explain…

By American Cacher

I am a writer and a rabid observer of human nature. Our foibles, and our attempts to disguise and deny those foibles – by lying – absolutely fascinate me. Lies are rampant in the 21^st century. They are evidence of a hopeless pursuit of perfection and power. Perhaps they are unavoidable. After all, have you ever met anyone who can claim they’ve never told a lie – without lying to make the claim?

Photo by Julius Lim

Watching Mr. Blagojevich compare himself to Gandhi, and attest to caring only for the little people of Illinois, has me shaking my head in wonder and cackling in glee – not because I believe one iota of what comes out of his mouth but rather because the design of his lies is utterly Baroque.

By MasksofVenice.co.uk

On the rare occasion I can force my eyes to lower from the behemoth mass of hair he carries around like a weapon, so I can closely examine his face, two things strike me:

1. I now know the struggle men have in shifting their eyes onto my face, though the effort is in the other direction.
2. Television is better than our public school system at teaching the important things.

Wed. 9pm on FOX

In particular, Lie To Me is a must-see for anyone who values a well-rounded education. For those who have thrown out their televisions in protest over the imminent switch to digital and thereby missed the ad campaign, Lie To Me is a new show on Fox, starring Tim Roth. The premise is, shockingly, that everyone lies and lucky folks like Tim Roth’s character, Dr. Lightman (Light Man – get it?), can tell when the lies are being told. I actually think the show is pretty clever, and Tim Roth is yummy in that slexy kind of way. But the priceless aspect of the show is the weekly lesson it gives in how to uncover a deception. Watch, and you will learn much.

A Dreamworks Film

However, will viewers implement the lessons learned? Do people really want to know when someone is lying? Really? Isn’t there a teensy part of you that secretly hopes the FBI’s got it wrong and Blagojevich is simply a misunderstood dude in need of a stylist? Or that your husband really is stuck at the office instead of stickin’ it somewhere else? Or that the pretty girl truly loves the idea of seeing The Uninvited on your first date?

Novel Cover Art

Heidi Julavits’ latest novel, The Uses of Enchantment, addresses the question of whether lies harm us or save us in an entirely charming manner. The young, female protagonist takes a single action, with far-reaching consequences. The story explores the emotional murk created both by deception and by truth, the damage caused by lying to others and the even greater damage caused by lying to ourselves, and the difficulty we all have in distinguishing whether or not someone’s pants are on fire.

By Huuh/ deviantart.com

Lies makes life interesting. Uncovering lies makes life dangerous. And learning to love someone despite his or her lies makes life worth living. What lie are you telling today?

I was at a gorgeous and great birthday party last night, for a dear friend. It was a very adult soiree, and by adult I mean sophisticated – smart people having interesting conversations while eating gourmet food on breakable dishware and drinking fine wine from real glasses. While looking across the sea of grown-up faces, however, I was struck by the prevalence of a phenomenon that has followed us all from the preschool playground. Girls talk to girls; Boys talk to boys.

Now, to be fair, this gender division was not a constant throughout the evening. The party-goers were a very friendly group of people who genuinely liked each other, so of course there was much mingling. But it cannot be denied that frequently the handfuls of individuals in huddles here or there, discussing this week’s political or sports or pop culture events, were made up of only women or only men.

It got me thinking about the subtle and not so subtle messages we get throughout our lives about the differences between the genders. How is it possible, in 2009, when we have just watched a huge chunk of the barrier between Black and White fall away, that there is still a line between Pink and Blue?

Pink and Blue

Anyone who has ever been in a relationship can confirm that the differences between the sexes are not imagined. But are these differences nurtured in us or are they simply in our nature? Should these differences be celebrated and encouraged or dismissed and denied? Are they good, bad, or irrelevant? And who decided that these differences could be boiled down to a preference for pink or blue? It is a relatively new paradigm. Prior to the 20^th century, conventional wisdom associated pink, as a diluted form of red, with masculinity.

Perhaps my inquiry stems for a personal dislike for the color my gender has been arbitrarily assigned. I am a redhead, you see. And despite John Hughes’ and Molly Ringwald’s attempts to pull one over on the world by postulating that redheads are Pretty In Pink, it is simply not true. So these questions swirl around my head. I have no answers, of course. I’m just asking. But I’m not the only one.

Celine and Her Pink Things

I stumbled across an awesome photographer, JeongMee Yoon, who is exploring the gender-specific color distinctions in an engaging, amusing, and thought-provoking way. Yoon takes portraits of young girls and boys with their respective pink and blue toys.

Ethan and His Blue Things

These photographs reveal not only how very real the phenomenon is, but also hint at how much our consumer-driven economy depends upon this division.

Cotton Candy

So, tell me, what is your favorite color? Will you raise your children color blind? And which cotton candy do you like better – Pink or Blue?

I completely understand if you are stressed out about money at the moment. Most of the world, or certainly the people I know, are trying to reduce their spending by removing all unnecessary items from their shopping lists. But do not eliminate from your life the little treats that bring you pleasure, I implore you! For me, one of those little treats is fresh cut flowers. And I have discovered the perfect bud vase in which to place that just-awakening tulip or Gerber daisy.

By Heath Ceramics

This sweet little red vase, from Heath Ceramics’ 2008 Limited Edition Winter Collection, holds a single bud, or perhaps a few of the thin-stemmed variety, beautifully. It makes a statement in any room, bringing a splash of color to your surroundings and a smile to your face. I just bought one of my very own, and have placed it on my kitchen table to hold an almost perfect white rose.

And for those who know nothing about Heath Ceramics, let me tell you a quick story. The company is based in Sausalito, California, but, happily, they just opened a gorgeous, minimalist showroom in Los Angeles. Edith Heath started the company in the mid-1940’s and, while she is gone and the company is now owned by someone else, they still make pottery the old-fashioned way. For that alone, they get a gold star.

So, what flower will you place in yours?