At The Ole Ball Game

I still have no idea why baseball is considered our national pastime, but I did learn many other fascinating things during my recent venture to the ballpark. Before I share them, I should clarify that the game I attended was played by the Dodgers and the Reds, at Dodgers Stadium in Los Angeles. I honestly have no clue where the Reds came from but I liked the colors in their uniforms. And the Dodgers beat them so… YAY!

by The Suss-Man / flickr

LESSONS LEARNED

1. Watching sporting events from a private suite is good. The chairs are on wheels. You can pretend you’re in your living room by lounging on one of the plush couches and watching the game from one of the 8 or so TV monitors located at convenient angles. You can still participate in The Wave if you choose to acknowledge the masses. Tons of free food, including Dodger Dogs, is available. I guess it’s not technically free, as someone has to pay for it, but I don’t have to see the $10 bill for a bag of peanuts. There’s a DESSERT CART*.
2. *Dessert carts are good. This revelation deserved it’s own mention. It seems that, in the swanky, silent hallways outside the luxury boxes, an overburdened dessert cart roams. On it, one can discover all kinds of delicacies including a CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE that is truly obscene. I, who routinely can consume an entire chocolate chip cookie in one gobble, could only eat half of this sugar-shock-inducing baked good. I didn’t even take a picture for fear of breaking my camera (and because I didn’t bring my camera, but that’s beside the point). This cookie contained chocolate chips, chocolate chunks and other forms of chocolate the likes of which I’ve never seen. Ridiculous.
3. Most baseball players no longer stand in solidarity with skinny-jean-wearing women. It turns out that most baseball players have abandoned the tights-and-socks look for a more forgiving baggy-yoga-pant uniform. I found this dismaying. My allegiance to football players is now strengthened. Please remind me of this in January.
4. Charlie Sheen is polite. He said “excuse me” to help me avoid face-planting directly into him as I walked out a door. He also looks older than the air-brushed version of him I drive by on my way to work, which makes me feel better when a notice yet another wrinkle wave at me in the mirror.
5. The 7th Inning Stretch happens quickly. I missed it entirely while engrossed in a conversation about yoga with another fan.
6. Shelling peanuts creates a mess. But it’s entirely worth it.

In conclusion, I’m thinking I may attempt to attend more sporting events in the future, as an educational experience if nothing else.

Also, there’s just something about watching men chasing after balls, and occasionally taking great leaps that reveal impressive athleticism, while a warm summer breeze blows under an almost full moon…

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