What was the best challenge of 2009 – something that really made your year? That made you go to your edge and then some. What made it the best?
There are so many challenges I could write about overcoming this year. I could talk about letting go of the guy who just wasn’t that into me. I could talk about walking through the grief of a best friend’s sudden death. I could talk about desperately trying to avoid declaring personal bankruptcy. I could talk about being thrust into a job entirely different from the one for which I was hired. I could talk about being single and turning 40 and what that means for the likelihood I’ll be a mother. I could talk about watching my little niece grow up via Skype from the opposite side of the country. But I’m not going to address any of these challenges. Not today.
Or, more accurately, I’m not going to address them individually.
The greatest challenge for me this year – the one that didn’t just make me go to my edge but actually catapulted me there, and then over – was SHOWING UP for all the above challenges, and then some.
Believe me when I say, I would much prefer to have remained in my oh-so-comfortable bed through most of what this year has brought me. But I didn’t. I suited up. I showed up. And I was PRESENT.
I was there to help a mother pack up her dead child’s belongings. I was there to celebrate a best friend’s wedding. I was there to applaud the Kid’s drumming skills. I was there to support a friend as her family lost a home.
I was there to laugh and cry and support and applaud and cheer and lift and comfort those who mean the world to me, and some strangers too.
This may not seem like such a challenge to you. But for me, it’s huge.
The challenge, you see, was to step away from my own challenges.
To get OUTSIDE MY SELF.
Otherwise, to be honest, I wouldn’t have cared about anyone else, much less any challenges they might or might not face. Personal challenges can seem so overwhelming that my sight can become very myopic.
Don’t worry. I cringe at that truth, too.
So, the best challenge of 2009 was the challenge to ACCEPT my share of challenges rather than be swallowed by them.
And I did that. I have the bruises to prove it. I feel as weak and fragile and shaky as if I’d just finished a marathon for which I was ill trained or prepared. But I DID cross the line. And now I know I can do it – I can accept what life throws my way, and continue to look up and out while also looking in.
For 2010, I’m hoping my challenges fall more along the lines of how to accomplish my aspirations – a list of which will be forthcoming shortly – rather than dodging falling objects. But I know, whatever they are, I will meet them. I now know how.
Emma Alvarez Gibson
/ December 9, 2009Beautifully put. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
Mike Wong
/ December 9, 2009Über hugs and applause! Thank you for sharing.
Bobbi
/ December 9, 2009Congrats on the journey and perspective! And hey, dodging falling objects just teaches you to dance. : )
carolbrowne
/ December 9, 2009Awesome post. Thank you so much for this. I needed to hear this.
Julie
/ December 9, 2009THank you for sharing all of this with us, your readers. Beautifully done.
Mahala Mazerov
/ December 9, 2009You did far far more than cross the marathon finish line. You brought exceptional love into the lives of others, and not through kind words but fierce actions.
A shaman once told me I was a Makunaiman, a warrior of the heart. I pass that name on to you, with band-aids for your bruises and lots of love.
Boston Mamas
/ December 9, 2009That’s a huge thing to accept, not get swallowed up. Thank you for sharing. – Christine
Square-Peg Karen
/ December 9, 2009Hooray for YOU!
“Just” showing up is huge when you are going through s*#t yourself — but it matters SO much!
Can’t wait to read what your aspirations for 2010 are!
courtney
/ December 9, 2009oh, wow. well done – what a great post. thanks for sharing. xx
Boy Crazy (@claritychaos)
/ December 9, 2009Here via #best09 and so impressed by this post. Beautifully written, beautiful message.
TaraNicholle
/ December 9, 2009This so resonated with me – been a very rough year for me, my clients and everyone else I know. By the end of the year, though, I’d started to be able to crawl out of my self-imposed solitude in the face of these things and my mantra had become “show up and grow up,” as they’re really one and the same – the showing up and the maturity, that is.
What you lived this year is real, grown-up life, and you faced it like a real grown-up. My wish for you is some real, grown-up playfulness and delight in 2010.
Namaste -and I mean that literally (the divinity that is within me salutes that which is within you.
Mandi
/ December 9, 2009Incredible and beautifully written. Thank you for sharing.
Grumble Girl
/ December 9, 2009Congratulations on all your hard work after what sounds like a very harrowing year… I wish you all the best for 2010 – may it be much, much smoother sailing… good luck!!
Lollygagger
/ December 9, 2009Congratulations! I mean that sincerely. Showing up is a wonderful accomplishment! I hope 2010 brings you less of the crazy hard challenges you’ve been given this year. You’re so incredibly strong!
LA Cochran
/ December 9, 2009Brava!
Alana
/ December 9, 2009Can I be a witness? I saw you show up. I saw you grow up. I saw you write. I heard you rant. A tough year, yes, but you kicked its ass.
Les Gebhardt
/ December 9, 2009Thank you for sharing! You are an inspiration. Your strength of character is clearly one of your greatest assets. I wish you a new year of peace.
emmajames
/ December 9, 2009Oh holy moly, gosh, darn, wha–?! I don’t even know how to respond to everyone who has commented thus far. I’m beyond moved, touched, honored, and sheepish. So, give me a second here… Oh, and welcome to all the newbies!
EAG: Thank YOU. For taking the time to read, and then comment. I truly appreciate it.
Mike: Uber hugs? For me? Really? You just made my day!
Bobbi: I LOVE your sentiment. Especially since if you’d ever seen me dance you would know I pretty much suck at it. Haven’t really progressed past the 80′s shuffle.
Carol: I’m so glad that something I said could be what you needed to hear. I love it when that happens, and it happens to me all the time.
Julie: Holy hell. Thank you.
MM: I am so honored. I shall carry the moniker with pride and gratitude, and pay it forward as often as possible.
BM: Thanks, Christine. I’m learning, no small thanks to you.
SP Karen: I’m just warning you, the list is LONG – not just for 2010, more like one of those “to do” lists for life. Will definitely get it out in the open before the end of the year and this challenge (which I’ll be so very sad to see go– but I’m getting ahead of myself!)
Courtney: Thanks, chica. I appreciate the thumbs up
BC: Right back atcha, babe. And your boys are friggin’ adorable!
Tara: Thank you so much. And I accept your namaste with a most sincere one back your way.
Mandi: When I discover that what I’ve said has touched someone, the pleasure (or that’s what I’ll choose to call it) is entirely mine.
GG: I’ll toast to that! May the sentiment be true for all of us!
Lollygagger: You just friggin’ rock, Molly. I hope 2010 brings both of us fewer crazy hard challenges, and maybe even a meet-up. I think I owe you a coffee.
LA Cochran: Love, love, love you. Thanks!!
Alana: Babe, words (at least the few I can place here) can’t come close to expressing how grateful I am for you. Will save that for many long walks along a beach.
Les: Thank you. And I wish you the same. In fact, wouldn’t it be nice if we could all achieve peace in the new year? Devoutly to be wished.
elizabeth
/ December 10, 2009Clearly you are a superhero – I hope you feel like one when you wear the necklace (I popped over from the Winners post on Gwen Bell’s blog).
You showed up with such love and kindness in the midst of chaos. That is inspiring. Thank you for sharing your year with us.
Danielle
/ December 10, 2009Cheers to you for SHOWING UP, BEING PRESENT and getting OUTSIDE of yourself. On the stage of life, that’s rock star status in my book.
Beautifully written and shared too.
Here’s to a 2010 with gentle lessons, all or your heart’s desires and more!
jeanne
/ December 10, 2009well said, my new friend. very well said. you did one of the hardest things ever: look beyond the end of your nose. can’t wait to read that list. i’m proud of you. and one more time before the day ends, CONGRATULATIONS! it’s quite easy to see why you will soon be wearing the superhero(ine) blink . . . with cape and stilettos, of course.
emmajames
/ December 11, 2009Elizabeth: You should have seen my reaction when I learned – most excited 5-year-old you’ve ever met. And so glad you came by. Thank you!
Danielle: I’ll definitely toast to a 2010 with gentle lessons, all my heart’s desires and more… same to you. Cheers!
Jeanne: Lol. Thanks, lady! You rock. Now I just have to find those indigo blue stiletto boots.
Morag
/ December 22, 2009Wow. I am with you. My company was re-orged, my mother was ill for months and died, and I ended a 12-year relationship. I only hope that I showed up half as often as you did. It’s amazing what strength you find in yourself, when you *decide* to show up rather than give up. Bravo.
emmajames
/ December 23, 2009Morag: Oof! Sounds like a brutally challenging year for you. My sincerest condolences. And no need to hope – KNOW that you showed up to the best of your ability and that was, is and always will be ENOUGH! Take care of yourself, and may 2010 bring you much deserved tranquility.