I was at a gorgeous and great birthday party last night, for a dear friend. It was a very adult soiree, and by adult I mean sophisticated – smart people having interesting conversations while eating gourmet food on breakable dishware and drinking fine wine from real glasses. While looking across the sea of grown-up faces, however, I was struck by the prevalence of a phenomenon that has followed us all from the preschool playground. Girls talk to girls; Boys talk to boys.
Now, to be fair, this gender division was not a constant throughout the evening. The party-goers were a very friendly group of people who genuinely liked each other, so of course there was much mingling. But it cannot be denied that frequently the handfuls of individuals in huddles here or there, discussing this week’s political or sports or pop culture events, were made up of only women or only men.
It got me thinking about the subtle and not so subtle messages we get throughout our lives about the differences between the genders. How is it possible, in 2009, when we have just watched a huge chunk of the barrier between Black and White fall away, that there is still a line between Pink and Blue?
Pink and Blue
Anyone who has ever been in a relationship can confirm that the differences between the sexes are not imagined. But are these differences nurtured in us or are they simply in our nature? Should these differences be celebrated and encouraged or dismissed and denied? Are they good, bad, or irrelevant? And who decided that these differences could be boiled down to a preference for pink or blue? It is a relatively new paradigm. Prior to the 20th century, conventional wisdom associated pink, as a diluted form of red, with masculinity.
Perhaps my inquiry stems for a personal dislike for the color my gender has been arbitrarily assigned. I am a redhead, you see. And despite John Hughes’ and Molly Ringwald’s attempts to pull one over on the world by postulating that redheads are Pretty In Pink, it is simply not true. So these questions swirl around my head. I have no answers, of course. I’m just asking. But I’m not the only one.
Celine and Her Pink Things
I stumbled across an awesome photographer, JeongMee Yoon, who is exploring the gender-specific color distinctions in an engaging, amusing, and thought-provoking way. Yoon takes portraits of young girls and boys with their respective pink and blue toys.
Ethan and His Blue Things
These photographs reveal not only how very real the phenomenon is, but also hint at how much our consumer-driven economy depends upon this division.
Cotton Candy
So, tell me, what is your favorite color? Will you raise your children color blind? And which cotton candy do you like better – Pink or Blue?
egan
/ January 26, 2009As a parent of an 18 month old daughter, I think about this topic. I wonder about this, especially after a baby shower where we got lots of pink. We requested not to get pink and still it arrives.
I wonder if the colors were chosen because of our gender roles. Boys get dirty and blue doesn’t show dirt. Pink is almost white and it would therefore give off an image of purity. Just throwing it out there.
egan’s last blog post..40 Hour Bookends
Liebchen
/ January 26, 2009I definitely liked blue more growing up, and only started appreciating pink in college. (Blue still wins out.)
But I like pink cotton candy. So it looks like I’m more a purple person.
LiLu
/ January 26, 2009I was at the dinner table with my two best gfs from college and all 3 of our boyfriends this weekend. I looked around the table, at the meal we had prepared, and the civility of it all just GOT to me. I mean, these are the girls I used to get into bar brawls with before getting up to go get breakfast sandwiches for our hangovers in the morning…
I took great comfort in the fact that we were all, at least, drinking cheap beer.
LiLu’s last blog post..Milk Works Really Well For That…
lacochran
/ January 27, 2009Interesting topic!
Having observed the behavior at the party, did you follow suit or choose to defy convention?
Those are amazing pictures. Notice, too, that the girl is just sitting there, while the boy is in an action pose. Girls are socialized to do very little. Boys are socialized to be doing stuff all the time. Just compare toys.
Also, a while back, I read a story about a study where a prison painted the walls pink because the color clearly had subduing effects on the inmates.
Think about it.
lacochran’s last blog post.."Though it’s easy to pretend, I know you’re not a fool"–George Michael
emmajames
/ January 28, 2009Egan: I never thought about how close pink is to white and the image of purity. Very interesting. And having been to numerous baby showers myself, I am truly aware how very difficult it is to find cute things in anything but blue or pink unless you go with yellow – and what new baby really looks good in yellow?!
Liebchen: A purple person? I LOVE that! Particularly since purple is associated with royalty and passion, two niches in which it is just fine to fit, in my humble opinion. And I believe this may be your first comment, so welcome to Pleasure Notes!
LiLu: Shocking, isn’t it? I took comfort in not being the only unmarried “adult” in the bunch at the awesome b-day bash to which I referred. You gotta find the silver lining where you can…
Lalochran: I both followed suit and defied convention! And I love that you noticed the poses – they struck me too, as well as the selection of toys. I’m going to have to search for that prison story – very intriguing!
egan
/ January 29, 2009I’m here to keep it real yo! The colors are an interesting fabric in our sexual roles/identities. Most don’t look good in yellow as you stated. Most parents don’t want their kids to be the least bit yellow after taking their baby home from the hospital.
emmajames
/ January 30, 2009Egan: Yellow should be used for daffodils (and other flowers), eggs, and the occasional kitchen wall. NEVER for clothes. Makes the wearer either look jaundiced or like a bumble bee. I shudder.
moira
/ January 30, 2009Wasn’t there a rush towards pea pod green as the IT color for newborns, in a vain attempt not to color-indoctrinate babies?
As it is, I love blue, a lovely cerulean blue, unless I’m talking clothes in which case it must be a deep crimson or ruby – the red that rejects any hint of orange and which looks good on my people (winters. or latinas. either. both).
And my niece straight out of the womb loved pink. There is no denying her – she wants pink shoes, pink dresses, pink jackets… and my nephew (her twin) couldn’t care less what color anything is so long as it has a train or cars on it.
Kat
/ January 30, 2009I’m a purple and green kind of gal. Though I will still gravitate to pink things (like a cell phone) if it’s not offered in another cool color (like gold). I always get a kick out of hearing from parents that ban pink and disney and all things princess, yet still end up with girls begging for the pinks and the princessy stuff. I think it’s just in us.
emmajames
/ January 31, 2009Moira: The correlation between boys and automobiles requires a post all its own. And a big thumbs up for deep crimson!
Kat: It appears to be out of our control sometimes, doesn’t it? I’m sure there are people who have made their careers investigating it all. And I’m a big fan of green as well, but only the dark shades.
And welcome to Pleasure Notes, both of you!
Kamala Rosell
/ December 24, 2009Merely want to say your article is brilliant. The clarity in your post is simply striking and i can assume you are an expert on this subject. Well with your permission allow me to grab your rss feed to keep up to date with future post. Thanks a million and please keep up the delightful work
emmajames
/ December 24, 2009Kamala: Thank you. And please do stick around. I can’t promise brilliance all the time, but I’ll wager I’ll keep you entertained.