How many times have you prefaced a comment about something you love to watch, purchase or do by calling it a “guilty pleasure”?
I was recently talking to some friends about our favorite television shows – not the most profound of conversation topics but one in which Angelenos frequently engage – and I was struck by how often we each downplayed and justified our choices by labeling them “guilty pleasures.”
What do we mean when we use that term? Isn’t it really just a form of self-censoring? We are attaching shame to our individuality, our tastes, our opinions. We are protecting ourselves from potential ridicule, perhaps, but in so doing, we are denying our selves.
My experiences have taught me that keeping silent does more harm than good. Claiming my truths, whether they be mundane or profound, helps me be my most authentic self. Labeling something a guilty pleasure is the first step toward driving me into hiding, into secrecy. A similar distance is travelled between a white lie and complete deception. And who the hell would want to consciously live with secrets and deception?
If I had to list my guilty pleasures, what would they be?
- THE VAMPIRE DIARIES. It’s on the CW; hip people watch Showtime. It’s about vampires. Its target audience is about 20 years younger than I.
publicity image from CW Network
- ROMANCE NOVELS. I am a highly educated person who can identify well-written prose, and these books do not fall into that category. They are as effective as a drug for distracting me from my life, and I’ve been around 12 steps enough to accept that drugs are bad.
parody artwork created by Mark Longmire
- GINGEROO COOKIES FROM TRADER JOE’S. I am not a size 2. They are cookies. I do not eat just one…
As I began to make the above list, I had an epiphany. These are not guilty pleasures, not anymore. In fact, as I continue this crazy, warp-speed journey toward fully integrating, embracing and putting forth my TRUE self in the world, I realize that I NO LONGER HAVE ANY GUILTY PLEASURES.
This is not cause for alarm.
I have my pleasures, a plethora of them. I simply don’t have the guilt. As a result, I’m ready to shed the term “guilty pleasure” from my lexicon. I no longer need it. I no longer need to justify my taste in people, places or things. It’s a liberating and giddy discovery. And, intriguingly, the pleasures that used to be guilty now carry no more added weight in my psyche than those I’ve always felt comfortable enough to share. Additionally, many things I used to publicly claim as pleasures, because they were sanctified by society, have revealed themselves to be not as interesting to me as I once thought them to be.
Pleasure is not granted to us to be feared, denied or lathered in shame. it is a gift. Celebrate it, in whatever forms it takes for you.
Are you ready to discard the “guilty” that has glommed on to your pleasures and, instead, claim them, completely? Proclaim them publicly, if you wish, using #nomoreguiltypleasures on Twitter.
LA Cochran
/ January 21, 2010“Lord of the Tube Socks”! Heeheehee.
.-= LA Cochran´s last blog .."And you want to do it right because you like to do it right" –Jane Siberry =-.
emmajames
/ January 22, 2010LAC: I chuckle every time I see these parodies. They capture all the absurdist elements of the genre. Glad you share the laugh.
olive & hope
/ January 21, 2010Emma this is great! I will gladly drop the *guilty* in front of my pleasures. In fact, I’m feeling a little giddy myself
.-= olive & hope´s last blog ..Thoughts on Haiti. =-.
emmajames
/ January 22, 2010O&H: Yea! I raise a toast to you as you toss away the guilt!
Square-Peg Karen
/ January 21, 2010love this, Em!! I don’t think I’ve ever used the term “guilty pleasures”, but I know I’ve FELT that “thing” (oh, there I go with the quotes again – lol). I sometimes stop myself from mentioning (with the guilty pleasure feeling) the stuff I find funny — like It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia — because it’s targeted to a much younger audience – or The Three Stooges, because I think people might assume I’m not bright.
I have a friend who’s a very intelligent woman – works as an editor – and reads romance novels (vampire romance novels) for a break from heavy reading. I totally get this – i can’t take the “guilty pleasures” words out of my vocab, since I dont’ use them – but I CAN tell the guilty pleasure FEELINGS that I won’t be needing them!
.-= Square-Peg Karen´s last blog ..Can You Trust a/an (inner) Used Car Salesman? =-.
emmajames
/ January 22, 2010Karen: Rock on! You’ve completely embraced my point, which is to discard the FEELINGS – of shame, guilt, hesitation, whatever – that keep us from standing triumphantly on the tops of proverbial mountains to claim all we are. Brava!
Walter
/ January 21, 2010We are all unique and we should accept who we are. Living our life with full control means we should not base our decisions and actions on the expectations of others or for the sake of status quo. Life is short to deprive ourselves of the things that brings us satisfaction
emmajames
/ January 22, 2010Walter: Well said, though I’m not sure I agree that life should be lived with full control. In fact, I’m more of the school that believes we must relinquish control and trust the forces of nature that flow through us. But that question is best suited for a much longer discussion so I’ll just leave it at that. And thank you for sharing the very true sentiment that “we are all unique and we should accept who we are.” I’d add: and accept others as they are, too.
Angie @ Just Like The Number
/ January 24, 2010Cheetos and People magazine: from here on out they will be known simply as pleasures.
emmajames
/ January 25, 2010Angie: Woo woo! Congrats. And I’m with you re: People Magazine. Isn’t that what getting a manicure is all about?
Robin
/ January 25, 2010Hallelujah!! As I dig my hand once again into the bag of chocolate chips sitting beside me. Hee…
.-= Robin´s last blog ..Extreme! =-.
emmajames
/ January 25, 2010Robin: Yum! Chocolate chips. You have very good taste.
rebecca
/ January 25, 2010I love this post and have been mulling it over since I first read it a few days ago. I finally figured out my guilty pleasure on the drive in to work today – John Mayer. But I’m done with the guilt. I’m going to appreciate him because his music makes me feel good. Thanks!
.-= rebecca´s last blog ..project 365 =-.
emmajames
/ January 27, 2010Rebecca: So glad you came back to reveal your no-longer-guilty pleasures! Enjoy rocking out to John Mayer. I’ll now think of your glee any time I hear his stuff.