by hurleygurley/flickr
I’ve been acutely aware each day, for the past few, that I haven’t written anything in this space. Since the inception of Pleasure Notes, I’ve only succeeded in creating daily ramblings during one month, despite my continued desire to write every day. I don’t beat myself up over the gap between desire and reality in this regard, or at least not usually. But for some reason, it’s currently driving me crazy. Perhaps it’s because I’ve committed to 21 5 800 and I believe that the community created by challenges is best served when the participation is public. It could also be that I love this space so much, and the creative outlet it provides is such a highlight in my life at the moment, that I’m uber-aware of my own absence. When I do show up here, however, I like to at least strive for coherency. And there’s the rub.
by Sabrina Campagna/flickr
At the moment, my thoughts are so jumbled that I’m more likely to land on the moon by day’s end than find any degree of coherency in my mind. Poor brain.
***
As I mentioned, I now resemble Uncle Jeb’s third cousin once removed because of some dental hi-jinx. It seems that was not horror enough. Over the weekend, I momentarily forgot that bed posts are solid and decide to slam my toe into one, leaving me crippled for a day and contemplating x-rays and crutches. Yesterday, my thumb suddenly decided to lay siege to the poorly defended carpal tunnel. And in a mysterious turn of events that has nothing to do with the increased availability of mini soy ice cream sandwiches at my local Trader Joe’s, I have added a new tire to my Michelin-envying waist.
by NuageDeNuit/flickr
My body has betrayed me and now I will never be cast in the remake of Catwoman!
***
I fear that I am THIS CLOSE to becoming a shut-in, and I blame it all on my furry feline friend, Bella. I grew up with dogs. I also grew up ridiculing people who owned cats. Now, I have one. What’s worse?
Eating cat hair with every meal, and finding it woven through every piece of fabric that has ever entered my home, no longer fazes me.
by exper/flickr
Also, the torrid, entangled affair that cat hair and dust bunnies seem to be carrying on in every nook and cranny of my truly humble abode is downright unseemly, and it is for this reason alone that I’m leaving them untouched.
One benefit of maintaining this level of filth love on all surfaces is that, like fog, it reflects light in interesting and unusual ways. I can pretend I have a floor covered in disco balls.
***
I should be pregnant. I already have the silhouette. I’m hungry all the time but NOTHING IS SATISFYING, not even chocolate. My boobs have enough storage space to hold milk for quintuplets, at least, and are in dire need of something to restore them to gravity-defying plumpness.
by Pikaluk/flickr
Of course, there is the prerequisite of sex, and I’d have more luck finding a cow to tip on the streets of Los Angeles than engaging in that 3-letter word at the moment.
***
I would have made a great heiress.
***
I will never be an Olympic gymnast. Damn you, Nadia, for putting the idea in my head!
***
Why do I love office supplies and kitchen utensils so much when my fondness for offices and kitchens is so tepid?
***
Will I ever have a coherent thought again?
by vaXzine/flickr
Welcome to my world. How are things looking in yours?
Lollygagger
/ June 16, 2010Sorry to hear you’re going through a jumbly patch. Sending you lots of hugs. And I feel the same way about office and kitchen utensils. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself here. We’ll still be here when you’re ready to share some more. HUGS!
emmajames
/ June 16, 2010Molly: Oh dear, it’s really no cause for concern. I’m beginning to realize that my sarcasm sometimes gets interpreted as sincerity, or perhaps you guys are all more aware of my head space than I am. Ha! But I love the hugs. Keep ‘em coming! And so glad you don’t defect entirely to pastures with lighter backgrounds!
xo
whollyjeanne
/ June 16, 2010you crack me up, sugar. this is the funniest pity party i’ve ever been invited to. and i mean that in the most loving sort of way, you know that.
emmajames
/ June 16, 2010Jeanne: Oh gosh, am I having a pity party? I hadn’t even thought about it, I was just putting brain on keyboard, but aw hell you’re probably totally right. This means I could have been sipping on G&Ts this whole time, right?!? Damn.
Square-Peg Karen
/ June 16, 2010Dear, dear, dear, DEAR Em, I love you! I love your ability and willingness to tell it like you feel it — not to do the “i’m Fine, dahling” thing that makes for tense, tight wrinkly – blechy faces when it’s not true (you know? D E N I A L). YOU, m’dear have – I KNOW it even tho we’ve never met in person – a beautiful, open, spirit-filled face. You are A+ adorable no matter what your boobs or brain are doing!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being YOU!
emmajames
/ June 16, 2010Karen: Aw, you are so damn sweet!! And I’ve never been to Egypt. I know nothing about it.
mrs mediocrity
/ June 16, 2010Ha ha ha ha, the only thing worse than one cat, is six, SIX I said…and let me tell you about hairballs. No, forget it, some things are better left unsaid. That was way too funny and I so get where you are coming from and why does it seem that everything always goes wrong all at once? But hang in there, it usually gets better all at once too and you will feel better and things will look better, or at least, slightly more coherent.
emmajames
/ June 16, 2010Mrs. M: Six? I bow to you. And then I run from you.
Susan Reep
/ June 16, 2010Oh my gosh, this was laugh out loud, especially when I got to maintaining love on all surfaces. Sorry to take pleasure in your muddle, but it’s the pleasure of reading such an entertaining post that I could relate to. Recently I dropped a 12-foot metal ladder on my toe – laid me up for a week with pain pills, now better, but it made me appreciate yours all the more. And let’s not talk any more about spare tires. Ok? Because it doesn’t get better – gravity will have it’s way no matter how much weight you lose. Oh, sorry, don’t want to muddle you further. Come up to Bakersfield and visit me. Lots of cows to tip around here.
emmajames
/ June 17, 2010Susan: Oh please, please take pleasure in my muddle, that’s why I share it! And holy canole, I cringe at the imagined pain of a ladder to the toe – DANG! So glad to know you’ve healed. Bakersfield, you say? Hmmmm…
Jenn
/ June 16, 2010Totally understand the hairballs/dust balls. As a woman with a dog, we have what we call Tumble-Lucys (the combo of Tumble Weeds and Lucy hair balls). And we let weeks go back before we vacuum them up. Sometimes it’s just easier that way. Sorry for all the bad luck that’s come your way these past couple weeks. Here’s hoping the sun will come out, both literally and metaphorically and things will look a little brighter soon.
emmajames
/ June 17, 2010Jenn: The sun always comes out eventually. I count on it! And I love the term you’ve coined – there’s a bigger story in that!
Alana
/ June 16, 2010Laughing. Hard. I too am feeling like I “should” be hitting publish daily because of 21.5.800. Am learning to be gentle with myself and those expectations. Turning myself gently in the direction of play. The giggles here sure helped so thank you. And I would have made a great heiress too
emmajames
/ June 17, 2010Alana: A life-long course, I’m beginning to think – “How to Be Gentle to Oneself 101.” I’m enrolled. Thank goodness there are no exams. xo
olive & hope
/ June 17, 2010thank you for the smile this morning Em. I adore you. You and your Bella. You and your dust bunnies and hair balls. You and your brain (no matter where it is). All of it. And I will chime in on this too…I would have made a great heiress too! No doubt about it
Also, I second what Alana said about 21 5 800, because I am working with the pressure to hit publish too. And I’m doing it no justice (at least not publicly), but am writing the word gentleness all over on post-its.
emmajames
/ June 17, 2010O&H: The adoration is mutual, I assure you!
And thank goodness for post-its. It’s astounding how often they save the day.
Merry
/ June 21, 2010Why do I love office supplies and kitchen utensils so much when my fondness for offices and kitchens is so tepid?
em – this is a brilliant question, and one that has never occurred to me. what is that about?
emmajames
/ June 22, 2010Merry: It is such a conundrum! But oh! what joy I can glean from Sur la Table… ridiculous.