Kitchen Sink Confession

I do not cook. It’s not that I don’t know how, per se. It’s actually more a combination of laziness and loneliness. It’s no fun to cook for one. And you’re left with all the dishes. So, I just don’t cook. I end up eating a lot of Trader Joe’s pre-packaged foods, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, canned tuna, and salad bags. In fact, the only differences between me and an 18-year-old who has just moved away from home are the lack of elasticity in my skin, the distance between my butt or boobs and my feet, and the speed of my metabolism. Our kitchens are most likely identical. All this being said, however, I must confess to an absolute obsession with kitchen utensils and food blogs.

I have every kitchen gadget I can reasonably afford, particularly if it fits in a drawer. I have numerous cheese slicers, even though I’m allergic to cheese. I have a meat crusher thing – what’s it called? – even though I can’t tell beef bottom from NY strip. I have melon ballers and pizza slicers and ice cream scoopers. I even have a very pretty, cherry red, Foreman’s Grill which has been on my counter for two or three years now without ever having been used. It intimidates me. Someone else, however, could cook up an amazing meal.

Someone like… any of the amazing food bloggers to whom I’m addicted.

Here are just a few who have me gaping in awe at their creations, dreaming of an invite to their next dinner party and occasionally finding myself purchasing kale or some such exotic ingredient that then rots in the bottom of my frig. Check them out and just see if you don’t fall for them as much as I have:

Chocolate & Zucchini – A leader in the genre, Clotilde will make you want to move to Paris, learn french, get fat, take a lover, ride a bicycle, and eat dessert with every meal.

Lemmonex – This woman is responsible for getting me hooked on food blog – a devil really. While she intersperses her food commentary with personal revelations much more now than she used to, she is a delight to read and magically makes me think cooking is accessible even to the likes of me.

Happy Go Marni – If I was half as good at any of my “hobbies” as she is at baking, I would rule the world. And since she at least lives in the same city as I, there may even be hope that I could end up at one of her dinner parties yet. Stranger things have happened, right?

Joe and Betsy – Part food blog, part photography blog and part demonstration of a disgustingly photogenic, happy, young couple in love (harumph), this blog is proof that I should have paid more attention to my Home Ec teacher in my elementary school and less attention to married men when in my 20s.

Use Real Butter – A recent discover, Jen is utterly inspirational. I most likely will never make roasted parsnip puree – I’d have to understand what parsnips were AND be able to identify them at the Farmers’ Market first, which is asking simply too much of me – but I love the way she writes about food and life.

I’m sure there are tens, if not hundreds, more wonderful feeds I should link to, but these satisfy my hunger very well. Check them out and let me know what you think. And if there’s someone who fulfills your craving, let me know. There’s plenty of room at the table!

Share the Pleasure!

•