By Any Other Name
What’s in a name? Do you think you would be a different person if you had a different name? Have you ever thought of changing yours? I know I’ve thought about it many times. In fact, I’ve even acted on the impulse.
Yes, ladies and gents, I have changed my name, more than once. My boss recommended I use a different name at work, because future employers might act wonky if they knew I’d once punched the clock at a dildo factory, so I have. When I started college, I attempted to make people call me by my middle name, but it never caught on. I even tried out numerous alter egos while pursuing an acting career, going so far as to practice various signatures in case my “real name” was already taken by some other ingenue in SAG; I eventually went with my given name when I joined the union – due to indecision rather than conviction.
So it should come as no surprise to you that when I started this blog, I created a new name for myself. It wasn’t far from my given name – everyone calls me Em. You see, I was unsure about how much of myself I would end up revealing in this blog, what subjects I would eventually want to discuss and how many secrets I might reveal. I did not want to censor myself for fear of upsetting someone I love or have my personal opinions affect my career – the one that doesn’t involve the dildo factory.
Recently, however, my cyber identity and my “real” one collided, and my anonymity was accidentally broken. Luckily, people before me, like the amazing Lemmonex, have been in similar circumstances and shared their experiences. I know I am faced with a choice, either to put a great deal of effort into keeping my two lives separate or to trust that a name does not define me.
While I am not going to now shout the name and social security number that are on my birth certificate to the roof tops, I’ve discovered that I don’t care anymore if someone puts two and two together. I have grown to really love the name Emma James, and how I express myself while identifying so. When someone refers to me as Emily, however, I’m not going to pretend they’re actually just discussing that Dickinson chic. For whatever reason, Emma does provide me greater freedom, or at least I perceive myself as more free – to be me. Strange, perhaps, but perception is everything.
How do you think people perceive you, based on your name? Do you think you fit your name? If not, what name would you choose, to express who you are?
lacochran
/ June 14, 2009Well, the WaPo Express thinks I’m a man. Maybe because the name I’ve put on my blog is confusing to pronounce. Maybe because I went with initials and my last name (is that a guy thing traditionally?) I dunno. I’m sticking with my blog name for now, Em.
lacochran’s last blog post.."Soylent green is people!"
molly
/ June 14, 2009I think I am whole-heartedly a molly, but what else would I be, right? I’ve always liked my name, so I know that has a lot to do with it. But. I always wanted a nickname when I was younger. I always felt mine were boring. Now I just like the names that come out when different people get to know me.
molly’s last blog post..slacker sunday: sun!
egan
/ June 15, 2009Great topic, one I will have to come back to since I’m getting all twitchy. That means it’s bed time and i still have laundry to fold. As if you need to know this. Take care and don’t sweat the name thing. I do love my name, I got a winner.
egan’s last blog post..World in Her Eyes
Jen on the Edge
/ June 15, 2009I am most definitely a Jennifer and that’s how I introduce myself to people.
Since I am Jen on my blog, that’s what a lot of people call me now, even though it really started off as my husband’s nickname for me. I really didn’t think of the long-term ramifications of that one and how I’d feel if total strangers were to call me Jen.
Jen on the Edge’s last blog post..The Martha strikes again
justjp
/ June 16, 2009I keep mine separated due to having 2 very different lives. Though, I would change my first name to Turkish. It just sounds awesome.
justjp’s last blog post..Fun with a Bedazzler
Complex and Searching
/ June 16, 2009I don’t think we really notice the power of a name. After the “I”/”me”, it is the most common way we think of ourselves. It is how we identify ourselves. It is at the core of how we define who we are. If we were to strip off everything else, we would find our true name.
It took me a very long time to find my true name. My given name is both common and uncommon and far back in the alphabet, so I mostly hated it. The first step in really accepting who I am was to accept and embrace my own name. Because of that, I chose to keep my name when I married. And for experiment’s sake, when D asked, I allowed him to call me by the nickname my mother named me for, even tho I shed it 20+ years ago.
I have chosen other names for myself to reflect activities and hobbies. This one was given to me by my friends, thru a Johari window. Complex was my biggest blind spot and Searching was the most common attribute know between me and my friends.
In my work, we also have a culture of bestowing nicknames. It is a great honor to earn one of these, a mark of status. There are usually stories that go with it.
Just remember what Dale Carnegie once said: Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most
important sound in any language.
~CaS
Complex and Searching’s last blog post..Social Isolation and Loneliness; Outlets and Connections in Our Daily Lives
emmajames
/ June 18, 2009Lacochran: And I like it!
Molly: Oh goodness, I didn’t even get into the whole nickname thing. Thanks for the reminder. That’ll have to be another post – ha!
Egan: Yep, unique is always good. As long as it’s pronounceable.
Jen: Uh-oh. I’m sorta stuck on Jen, since I know you through your blog. Hope you’re cool with that…
JP: I just may start calling you Turkish from now on. Beware!
C&S: I really appreciate your perspective! And now I’m curious about what line of work you’re in. I don’t think I’ve read any posts where you mention it. Hmmm…