Comments on: Relinquishing A Dream

By: emmajames

emmajames — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 04:33:51 +0000

O&H: Thank you so much for your honesty in your comment – it is beautiful. And I’m relieved that you “get it” too. I will send lots of good juju that your wish regarding children comes true. And I truly appreciate the inspiration about loosening one’s grip on things. I look forward to continuing down the road of crazy life watching your journey as well.

By: olive & hope

olive & hope — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 16:21:31 +0000

Oh Emma. I have held tightly onto so much through the years. A relationship that went from great to disaster in a matter of months, a job (a boss) that gave crazy making a whole new meaning, and the biggest one of all – having babies. I am still holding onto the last one. I’m going to be 40 later this year, and I haven’t been able to conceive (yet). I’m not ready to give up, but I will say that the grip has loosened, and I am so thankful for that.

I recognize so many of your emotions in this post. All of my friends have kids, and I love them, but I wonder what it would be like to bear and raise and love my own. I cried in a department store last year when I found out my brand new sister in law was pregnant, because there is a feeling of not being a whole woman unless you give birth. My first thought was I will be looked at as the daughter in law that can’t produce a grandchild. I know intellectually this is not true – both that I will be viewed as some sort of loser, and that I cannot be a whole woman without the experience. But I do feel you on this one!! xo
.-= olive & hope´s last blog ..Blowing the Lid Off the Small Box. =-.

By: emmajames

emmajames — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 03:34:35 +0000

Lindsey: Thank you, chica. I’m honored by your support and I’m continually moved by what you reveal as well.

By: emmajames

emmajames — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 03:33:22 +0000

Gail: It sounds to me like you contribute a great deal. Thank you for sharing a bit of your story. And welcome to PN!

By: emmajames

emmajames — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 03:32:33 +0000

VBC: Oh, you’ve got me all teary-eyed! Thank you for your honesty in this comment. I’m so glad you’ve got your second chance!

By: Lindsey

Lindsey — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 22:35:45 +0000

This is so lovely, so raw, so honest.
I know that part of the turmoil inside of me now is accepting that some of my dreams aren’t going to come to pass. It’s not easy, as you say – it can be crazy-making. Good for you for having such good humor, and for recognizing that that can defuse it.
And yes, by the way, children are the ultimate commitment. I tell people that all the time. Forget the marriage. That’s actually nothing, in my view, compared to the children. They are permanent, indelible.

By: gail

gail — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 22:17:24 +0000

Children bring one to the edges of all the extremes of emotion, both good and bad. I think, frankly, far fewer people should have them. It is hard to do them justice. I am 60, I have held on too long to some dreams and have had to give up many more. I grew up in a malfunctioning household, stayed in a marriage too long, became engaged to a man who was a disaster for me but who stood for my dream of being a couple, came to grips with the limitations imposed by a child's mental illness and brain injury. I am still searching for the elusive cause, reason for being, purpose of life. But mostly I just look around and marvel, contributing nothing. .-= gail´s last blog ..Little bits of paradise =-.

By: verybadcat

verybadcat — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 21:12:28 +0000

i held on to the dreams i had for my marriage about a year too long before finally accepting their dusty death.

i always thought it was a rough patch, that things would work out, that we would come out of it. i didn’t think that he was being who he was. i didn’t want to see who he was. i wanted to be a mother too, i wanted a silver anniversary and an epic love story. i got a signed separation agreement and a second chance.

i don’t know what the future holds for you, but i know it saddens me to think that you might not be a mother. i think you would be a good one.
.-= verybadcat´s last blog ..I’m Kind of A Big Deal =-.