Image via Sarasota Coffee Company
Halloween is over – thank god – but the piles of candy remain to taunt me. For most of the year, I can ignore all those delectable favorites of my childhood. Most of the brands I like best don’t get huge marketing budgets attached, which means I truly forget they exist for about 358 days of each year. But for some reason, during the seven days after Halloween, they come back to haunt me – all those retro brands that kids today eye suspiciously when they empty their overflowing pillowcases at the end of their night knocking on strangers’ doors, and then toss off to pushers parents, who then carry them to offices and let loose to seduce hapless “adults,” like me.
I have no power to resist the pull.
Which is why I’m currently suffering from a sugar crash of magnificent proportion… If only you could see me now!
So you can understand how I was caught unaware, here’s what happened…
I was at an event last night. With tons and tons and tons of candy. So much candy, in fact, that we were told to take some home with us. And who am I to refuse a direct order? Particularly when said candy is the good stuff – Sugar Babies and Pop Rocks and Tootsie Rolls and Nerds and– well, you get it. Besides, it was free and we’re in a recession and I have to spend the weekend in New Jersey. So, really, it’s remarkable I didn’t leave with the entire supply.
Instead, I thought it would be a good idea– and here, as any addict can tell you, is when I should have walked away but, alas, did not– to take a handful, or three, of Sugar Babies packets to accompany me on my lonely and long-ass-with-a-lay-over plane ride today. Security really should have stopped. I was PACKING, I’m telling you!
Then, it got ugly. I’ve eaten destroyed the seedy evidence of my debauchery. But I was not at my most lady-like today. And now, even though the trail of tears wrappers is gone, I am left feeling like crap and needing to mainline some protein STAT.
At least this only happens once a year.
