Pleasure Notes

The Academy Awards are tonight. I know this because the helicopters have already started hovering overhead and various street closures have added to the normal traffic pretzel for days now. I will attend a viewing party tonight where I will judge emaciated women’s wardrobe choices and cry as stars thank their agents for actually earning their 10 percent. At the moment, however, I’m awash in awards of my own and I’m utterly speechless.

Within the last week, three fabulous, inspiring and authentically lovely bloggers have bestowed blogging awards on yours truly. I am humbled. I am also giggly and blushing. Thank you to Dian, Alana and Bonnie. Knowing you has opened my world and brought me such joy. And thank you to every single reader who has ever landed here at Pleasure Notes. Your presence keeps me showing up to the page; you are invaluable.

Because I’m a bit overwhelmed by all the badge love, it may take me a minute to pay it all forward. It’s delightful to see some of the same names on all the lists in which I was included. I wish I could re-award them all as I proceed. Somehow, I’ve fallen into an incredibly powerful circle of people who are unafraid to speak from the heart and reveal all their colors. I hope, as I complete my own obligation to the award rules, that I can expand the circle and can show at least a few of the rock stars I follow how much I adore them.

In the meantime, however, I’m going to try to convince Harry Winston to let me borrow a few baubles. A three-time nominee certainly deserves her bling, n’est pas?

by Kristina B/flickr

I’m just dropping in briefly to address a question I’ve been asked only about a hundred times in the past month or so… No, I did not trash my blogroll of fabulous blogs and websites that I wholeheartedly support. I simply moved it from the sidebar to a page of its own. So, if you’re curious, check out my Pleasure Spots – entirely dedicated to active sites I can’t live without. Oh, and yes, I update it fairly frequently because there are so many amazing people with whom to fall in love!

Any other questions?

xo

I’m not quite sure how to move forward after I blind sided you all with yesterday’s confessional, so I’ll begin by admitting that I didn’t see it coming either. I have only a massage to blame.

I scheduled a massage for the day before yesterday. Going into it, I was hoping for some emotional release. After all, I strongly believe that we hold a lot of emotional energy in muscle memory. All I wanted was to get some gunk worked out. I innocently thought that the expressed sludge would be grief related, given the events of the past year. I had NO IDEA that I’d be confronting sexual violation instead.

I. Did. Not. See. That. Coming.

I cried through most of my massage.

I cried as I spoke to the somewhat unnerved but (thankfully!) experienced massage therapist after my session.

Then, I purged on the page.

Afterwards, I sat on what I’d written. I asked a trusted friend to read it, and for her advice about making it public. I followed her recommendation to wait til morning to make a decision. So I did. And I ultimately clicked “publish.”

I immediately cried some more. Huge, gut-sourced sobs of release. An hour. More. And again this morning. I’m sure I’m not done. But I’m also not worried about creating a schedule. Healing will happen organically. The seeds have been planted and the roots are growing nicely. I know, from my reaction and that of others, I did the right thing.

And if the past two days past year has shown me anything, it is that I am best served when I relax into the hairpin turns life takes. I share that epiphany with gusto!

What am I saying?

THANK YOU. For your comments – on the post, in tweets and via email. For your example – the integrity and authenticity you show in your spaces gives me the courage to be honest in mine. For your honesty – in claiming sister- and brotherhood in the experiences about which I wrote. For your empathy and camaraderie – I feel so lucky that you choose to spend time here, whether you prefer to just lurk or be known by name.

BIBS ARE NEEDED. Since I started Pleasure Notes in 2008, I’ve become increasingly personal in subject matter. Yesterday took the cake. But it wasn’t the first time I’ve purged, nor will it be the last (though I do intend to sprinkle some more sparkle about again soon). And I’m aware that, given the nature of vomit, it does have a tendency to go everywhere. So I hope you continue to like getting a bit messy with me!

GO SEE THE BLIND SIDE. It’s just a good, fun, poignant movie… See? I can be light and airy!

And I’m not kidding about the film. Two thumbs up. No cleaning supplies necessary.

xo

What was your best social web moment? Did you meet someone you used to only know from her blog? Did you discover Twitter?

Well, you already know that Twitter was an integral part of my social web experience this year, but I didn’t discover it in 2009 and it didn’t hold my best social web moment. In fact, my best social web moment was offline.

I had the opportunity to sit in a room with some powerhouse women – all of whom I met first through the internet – and just shoot the shit over champagne and chocolate covered strawberries. There was some structure to the evening, but we had one of those conversations that bounced and leaped and flew from one topic to another – the past, the future, fears, accomplishments, hopes, and dreams. At least that’s how I remember it. As I mentioned, there was a bit of champagne involved. And Utah’s Red Mountains out the window to distract me.

What is the best gift of 2009? What is a gift you’ve given yourself this year that keeps on giving?

This blog, right here, is the gift that keeps on giving. I return here to vent my thoughts, share ideas and discoveries I think you might appreciate, and continue a conversation with you, dear readers and friends, that is more valuable and rewarding to me with each passing day. Through the trials and tribulations that 2009 brought, I have been incredibly blessed. You help me remember that. So, perhaps, you all are the true gift. I am filled with gratitude.

Much love and joy.

xo -em