The powers that be are scratching their collective heads, trying to figure out how to stop the current economic free-fall without pissing off the fat cats too much or letting the boys in the hood get too hungry. While the new Obama administration in Washington attempts to gain the trust of Wall Street and retain the trust of Main Street, those out in the street are simply stressed out. So I propose a quick-fix stress relief. Get yourself a coin bank! Here’s a way to keep cash close to home and bring back that childhood pleasure of dropping pennies into a slot, shaking your bank, hearing the clink of money and feeling the weight of your wealth in your hands. Now, I don’t encourage transferring your entire retirement portfolio into any of these coin banks, but I guarantee that at least one or two of them will bring a smile to your face.
Most Sleek Coin Bank: When not being mistaken for a drawer handle, it serves as a simply, sexy coin receptacle. Also works as a murder weapon, I imagine.
Sansone Coin Bank by Danetti
Most Baby Shower-Ready Coin Bank: Perfect for both boys and girls, this gift will gain you points with the freaked-out parents-to-be who just realized exactly how much college tuition will cost in 2027.
Duck Coin Bank by Reed & Barton
Most Mod Coin Bank: Minimalist and hot. Pairs well with the Most Bond-esque Bathtub. Must be broken to retrieve money.
Money Box by Kensaku Oshiro
Most Hipster-ific Coin Bank: Both cute and terrifying, it can easily pass as simple sculpture made by your slightly-disturbed next door neighbor.
Untidy Work Robo Bank by idstudio/Etsy.com
Most Labor-Intensive Coin Bank: It’s a fair-trade item, but whoever made it likely makes less in a month than we take home in a day, so just appreciate it, okay?
Beaded Pink Piggybank at wow-imports.com
Most Blinged-Out Coin Bank: For anyone who just refuses to see the Bedazzled Era die.
Crystal Piggy Bank by Team Sugar
Most Trauma-Inducing Coin Bank: Fugly is cool, right? And everyone likes secret hiding places. No one would ever guess this zombie doll holds your fortune.
Zombie Doll by Fuzzyfreaks/Etsy.com
Most Geek-Friendly Coin Bank: Does not require that you be a regular at Giant Robot or the equivalent, but this bank does eat your money, which makes it very hard for even the most jaded to not geek out just a little.
Gobbleit Bank at Firebox.com
Most Artsy-Fartsy Coin Bank: Pottery-making, hemp-clothed, bare-footed gypsies will befriend this whale, and quickly forget it also holds the cash to fund their next peyote trip.
Whale Bank by Moneybanks.co.uk
Most Kitschy Coin Bank: A kukaburo! In a gum tree! Equally at home in a Philippe Stark-decorated loft or your granny’s boudoir.
Kukaburo Money Box by Maxim Velcovsky
Most Emotive Coin Bank: Hey, you can’t blame the piggy for being as shocked as the rest of us at the state of things.
Pig Bank by Wildmud/Etsy.com
See. Wasn’t that more pleasurable than watching the Dow do its daily dance?
